Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Maria's Song, Chapter 1: It's Just What I Wanted!

This week's Trifecta challenge concerns the word, "mouth"......as in, the mouth of a river or the mouth of a bottle.

I have chosen to write the second part of my story concerning the little girl in the blue dress from the weekend challenge, two weekends ago.  Click here to read "Maria's Song:  Part 1".

My hope, with this instalment of the story, is to develop a sense of the loving family home life Laura enjoys.  Next instalment, I shall contrast this by introducing Maria and her family life.   But, for now, I hope that you enjoy this part of the story.

Maria's Song:  Chapter 1, Part 2, It's Just What I Wanted!

The last of the party guests had gone to their homes, leaving Laura and her parents a welcome silence in which to exhale and collapse. Surrounded by balloons, paper plates and the easy quiet of their now empty house, the three flopped down upon the couch. Laura held on to her father's arm and snuggled against him.  No one spoke. Each replaying their own memories of, what was, a very good party.

Laura's eyes slowly began to close.  Mom and Dad looked at each other and smiled.

Dad picked Laura up and carried her to her bedroom, where soft, comfy pyjamas and warm blankets awaited.  Once dressed and ready, she climbed into bed, clutching Maria. Dad kissed her forehead, brushed away a strand of hair from her eyes and tucked her comforter around her neck.

"Happy birthday, Sweetheart," he said softly.

"Thanks, Daddy," she yawned.  "I had a good time."  She hugged her dolly.

Dad turned off her light and headed for the kitchen. He grabbed two cappuccino glasses. Within moments, fresh drink filled each cup, a blanket of foam nestled against each mouth.

In the living room,  Mom had begun tidying up.

"Come."  Dad held out a cappuccino. "This can wait," he said, gesturing to the mess.

Mom sighed.  They sat down together.  Dad grabbed the remote. The soulful sounds of Cold Specks filled the room.  Mom curled her legs under herself and leaned against her husband.

"Don't let me fall asleep," she said. "There's still so much to do."

Dad chuckled but said nothing.  Within moments, her breathing became rhythmic and she had drifted off to sleep, too.   He gently took her glass and placed it on the end table.  Looking around the room, he knew he'd be cleaning the rest of the mess. He didn't mind, though.

The music, cool. His sleeping ladies, beautiful.  Dad wrapped himself in the warm glow of a life that felt right.  The cappuccino warmed his throat.

The cleaning would have to wait.

Cold Specks, "Lay Me Down".


  1. touching write - nice scene and characters

  2. That was nice, comforting. Well done.

  3. One of those days you keep close to your heart.

  4. What a wonderfully warm scene, an ode to the moments that truly make a life.

  5. I like how you are developing the characters. Looking forward to Maria's story.

  6. How wonderful! sometimes its nice to just stop and be together.

  7. I think I'm ready to curl up and doze off now - thanks for the prompt :)

  8. I love moment. After chaos, the quiet and comfortable time of alone.
    Nicely described.

  9. I love the continuation. Can't wait to see how you take this all further. (:

  10. What a lovely portrait of a happy little family :)

  11. This is gorgeous.

    A bit of concrit, if you're open to it. You've got a comma problem in your opening line. If I'm reading it correctly, you can do away with the comma after 'parents.'

  12. This is a very real slice of life and portrays a loving family, I hope. I guess we will see in the next installment. Anyway, this story brought back some sweet memories. Btw, please tell us how the kids reacted to your lesson on personification.

    1. I used your poem as one of the four I showed the kids. They were VERY interested in the whole Trifecta-thing and that their teacher had this whole other life and that all of these writer-types knew about them, too. Without being overly dramatic, I'd venture to say that they were even touched by the comments welcoming them into the writer's world.
      I've had one student approach me already and ask to submit something. Hopefully, once report cards are done, I can focus on two or three other kids that I suspect may wish to try but may not have the confidence to come forward. If I get 2-4 volunteers, I'd be very happy.
      All of the kids recognized the personification that was used in the 4 poems. I was happy about that. Thanks, again, for your interest, Lumdog. Stay tuned. Hopefully, you'll hear more from me/the kids in the near future.

  13. Thanks everyone for your comments. I've been sneaking some peeks in but, otherwise, going full tilt on report cards. I appreciate all of your warm words.

  14. What a lovely story-smooth & soft,a neat depiction of an "after party" scene:-)