First of all, there are segments of the scientific and religious community who feel that there is nothing "undead" about zombies at all. Instead, zombies are victims of medicinally-induced poisoning that renders them susceptible to paralysis, mental manipulation and so on. Toxins that produce this effect can be found in Haiti.
Secondly, in my younger days, I dated a young woman who grew increasingly infuriated with me whenever I attempted to solicit her opinion in, what appeared to my mind, to be the most mundane of decisions, i.e., "So, what movie do you want to see tonight?" She got fed up one night and finally laid all of her cards on the table by, basically, saying, "I want a man who is strong and powerful and will sweep me off of my feet. I don't want to have to make any decisions in this relationship. The man for me will always know what to do and when to do it. I am tired of having to think for the men in my life!"
So, with both of these thoughts in mind, I bring you, "A Quintessential Love?"
A Quintessential Love?
I arrived at a Haitian village
Music played, strangers danced
I met a man.
Music played, strangers danced
I met a man.
That night, he made dinner;
sea stars and cucumber sandwiches.
I live the life I love in borrowed shoes.
Oh! I like that last line. I like the whole thing, actually lol
ReplyDeleteKing of the closing line, that's me! Lol
DeleteHopefully, with more time and experience as a writer (and, not just a wannabe writer), I'll have good opening lines and a whole bunch of interior lines, too. :)
For now, I guess I'm building from the bottom up. THanks for taking the time to comment, Draug.
Always have the time! :D I'm in the same wannabe boat too. I'm working on building up a fine cruise ship with three swimming pools and a dance hall and fifty kitchens and hundreds of staff... (:
DeleteLoved your lead-up to the poem. Very nice last line!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Varsha. I appreciate your comments. Good luck in the challenge this weekend. :)
DeleteI enjoyed your story. Interesting how she wanted the man in her life to make all the decisions. Hmmm. Be careful what you wish for. Anyway, sea stars and cucumber sandwiches sounds romantic. Love the last line. Nice work.
ReplyDeleteWhat can I tell you........I met all different types of young ladies during my bachelor days and the girl mentioned above certainly caught me off-guard with her demand to surrender her will. I'm sure some guys would love that kind of submissiveness but, not me.
DeleteAnyway, that experience , combined with a little research got you "sea stars and cucumber sandwiches" as toxins and "borrowed shoes" as walking permanently in someone else's footsteps. There you go. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate your words.
Lovely poem and very different response to the prompt.
ReplyDeleteBut, not as big a stretch as you may think. I didn't get married until I was 36 so, between 20-36, I came across many an "interesting" young lady. The girl described above always struck me as being Pinocchio-esque or zombie like because of her desire to have her thoughts/actions controlled by her man. So, when this weekend's prompt turned out to be zombies well, it took me down Memory Lane right away. Glad you found my poem interesting. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Deleteenraptured by the last line. nicely done
ReplyDeleteHappy to hear that my words have the power to enrapture. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it very much.
ReplyDeleteGreat last line. Also intriguing as a story unto itself. Lead-in girlfriend sounds like story material too.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kymm. Mining past relationships for story inspiration is a well-trodden path, isn't it? :) We'll see if future story prompts take me back to this area of my life.
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate what you had to say very much. Good luck in the Community judging.
Very smart take on the tale, inclusive of Haiti and all. And as others have said, quite the lead in.
ReplyDeleteOn the same topic, I'm quite the opposite type person. When I was dating, I would take anyone I thought I might like on a quintessential Vancouver date: walking the sea wall. I always preferred to walk on the rock wall part, the edge. Most men would haul me off faster than you could wink. Each time, I knew that the relationship was doomed. By the time I took my now husband, I was quite aware this was "my test". I hopped up on the wall, and he tried to push me off into the rocky water 10 feet below. Keeper.
Those memories make all the trials worthwhile. Especially if we find the shoe that fits.